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Miley Tongue

Girls, How Not to Get an Ass Like Miley Cyrus


So I get back from four days in Italy and what’s the internet awash with? Fracking? Gas Attacks in Syria? No, memes taking the piss out of Miley Cyrus’ ass. I knew she’d stirred up a furor of sorts a few weeks back with her unique brand of twerking, which I may add is now a word that’s been added to the Oxford English dictionary thanks to the nubile 20 year-old, but this time around it seems she’s inspired discussion on a whole new level.

Miley Tongue

It seems she’s made somewhat of a fool out of herself at the MTV VMAs with a bizarre performance that incorporated some mesmerizing tongue gymnastics, over-zealous crotch thrusting, grinding that made even Robin Thicke look a bit ill, and yet more twerking with an anemic looking backside that’s being mocked left right and centre across the web as I speak.

If you’re one of the three people left in the world who hasn’t seen the video, here it is in full. Please note the look on Rihanna’s face.

So, why the hell am I writing about this on a fitness blog? Well, Miley is exhibiting exactly why women, just like men, should aim to add muscle, and workout with weights, rather than just ‘losing weight’. If all you want to do is ‘lose weight’ you’ll end up with a less than impressive ass, and people will make fun of you when you twerk. And you don’t want that.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want this to read like a bitchy article from Heat, you know ones which  make obese women temporarily feel smug as they scoff at svelte celebs who’ve apparently ‘lost their curves’ or ‘turned anorexic’. No, Miley’s body shape and size isn’t unhealthy, it’s just… She doesn’t look that great.

twerking VS Squats


It’s a classic case of an unshapely, undesirable figure  that’s the product of a focus on losing weight instead of focusing on improving body composition. It’s not simply a case that she needs to fatten up for a plumper rump, she needs more muscle.

This is achieved with exercises such as squats, lunges and deadlifts performed for multiple sets with a resistance that promotes failure around the 8-12 rep range. It also means eating a good amount of protein in order to repair and build muscle. Simple. My diagnosis of Miley’s case of ‘saggy ass’ is that she’s starved herself and done hours of cardio.

This once again reinforces the idea that fad diets which restrict calories and a lifetime spent on the cross trainer may help to shed the pounds, but don’t necessarily give you a great body (this applies to men as well). Miley (at least to my knowledge) has never been overweight, she’s just been eating and exercising the wrong way to achieve optimal body composition and therefore optimal aesthetics (I know this is subjective, but c’mon, who doesn’t like an ass that resembles two nectarines in a vacuum pack?).

So Miley provides the perfect example to women looking to trim down of what they could end up looking like if they don’t eat and train smart, using the simple methods described above and in this post. After all, who wants to invest all that effort and time to end up with an ass that still looks like shit on the beach?

To finish, here are some asses that have been carved using a solid prescription of squats and protein.


Dat Ass

squats 2

squats 1

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